Sex Change
by MOFOSTAN
Summary: When something mysterious happens in the hick mountain town of South Park, turning everyone into the opposite gender, then the four boys... erm, girls need to find out what happened! YURI/YAOI/HET, Cartmans POV


Eric Theodore Cartman was a normal teenage boy, if you disregard the racial slurs, the crude vulgarity, and his morbid obesity. He lived a normal life in a small little mountain town called South Park, if you count alien occurrences, daily mayhem, and random adventures that have no real point to do with anything normal. He had a normal family, if you define normal as a teenage boy killing his own father and feeding it to his half brother without knowing at first that was his father, and having a crack whore mother. He went to a normal school; do I really have to elaborate any further? I thought not.

Point is he was normal… in his own abnormal way. If that makes any sense. So what happened to him that made him… more abnormal than before? Well one particular day, the seventeen years old teenage _boy_ woke up from _his_ alarm clock as usual. _He_ went to _his_ bathroom to brush _his_ teeth. _He _casually glanced at the mirror and _he_ evidently discovered… _he_ wasn't a _he_ anymore. _He _was in fact a very (and VERY) significantly and definite_ she!_ That morning his scream could be heard around the block.

His very kind, but… flirtatious mother ran up the stairs in a worried frenzy praying to her God and a God she didn't believe in that her little baby poopsikins was alive and well. She opened the bathroom door where the scream came from and found her _son_ to be her new found _daughter_! Her jaw dropped to the floor in horrid shock.

Her only son now had a medium length, tender mane of dark auburn hair that streaked down her prominent cheeks and chiseled a very supple jaw line. Her eyes were a whisper of soft auburn, yet lighter and more honey glazed than her gallant mane. Her lashes were long and delicate, going perfectly with her romantic features. Her lips were pouty and curved, luscious and full, and her nose was buttoned and fit her plump yet supple jaw line. Her neck was long and sturdy, and her shoulders were broad yet lithe. Her chest was plump and rather immense. Her once rather vastly large gut was now an elegantly formed waist. Not thin, yet not grossly over weighted. It was a bit above average, but attractive nonetheless. Her hips where broad and wide, mountainous and alluring. Her long legs weren't sticks, nor were they stumps. They were svelte and lean. Her feet where of average size. All in all, she was rather, if not abundantly, charming and desirable to the opposite sex… or her old sex to be more accurate.

"MOOOOOM! WHAT THE FUCK! AM I HIGH ON YOUR CRACK OR SOMETHING!" She shrieked with long stokes of desperate tears streaming down her supple features.

"Poopsikins… I… what…" Liane was speechless. She had no form of help, no reassuring words. Out of all the fucked up situations they've been placed into in this hick town, this had been the most surprising.

They had both decided best that she did not attend school. They went to the doctor, and the doctor was as speechless as Liane. When they arrived home from a terribly helpless emergency appointment, the new turned teenage girl checked through her busted up phone. She saw nineteen unread messages. No one barely texted her, so how…?

She quickly scrolled down and saw Kyle's number. Blushing slightly she opened the message.

"HOLY FUCKING SHIT DUDE! I just talked to stan and kenny and even tweek and wendy and craig... did you turn into a girl too? DDD:" –Jew

She was deliberately shocked. She immediately texted her arch nemesis.

"THANK GOD! I thought i was da only 1! my mom + i even went 2 the doctors + no help! so does that mean those pussies now have pussies 2?" – fatass.

Kyle got the text immediately. He locked himself in his room all day, he… she refused to leave and attend school. She opened her phone and received the message.

"dude… this sucks ass…. ;A;"—Jew

Cartman received the message.

"Text every1 2 come 2 starks pond in an hour. every1 who turned in2 a grl… wait did u mention wendy?"—fatass

Kyle received the message.

"YEAH! She's a dude! She says bebe is a dude also!"—Jew

Cartman received the message.

"eeeeew…."—fatass

"fuck you fatass."—jew

"go die in a ditch, juu!" –fatass

They decided to leave the conversation at that. Kyle and Cartman texted everyone in their phone list who turned from their original sex to their new one to come to Starks pond.

One hour later, Cartman drove up to the familiar pond. She was wearing curved skinny jeans borrowed from her mom… well they weren't skinny before, but despise Cartman's prominent decrease in weight, she was still considered what they called an overweight model. She wore a simple Halo T-shirt under her zipped open red jacket. She even decided to wear her regular hat. She parked to where three other cars were.

She disarmed the ignition and stepped out of the Mercedes, why Liane was more interested in the updates of the family car rather than to update Cartman's cell phone was questionable. Her oversized old shoes made a crunch noise as she stepped on the snow. She came by the log and saw Tweek, Kenny, Butters, and lastly Kyle. They looked up and gasped in awe.

"(Dude, I expected some gross fat chick!)" Kenny blurted out under her orange parka hood.

"F-fuck you, poor boy…erm… girl…" She said blushing furiously.

She sat down and they sat in silence. That's when she decided to take in her friends' new look.

Butters looked quite similar to Marjorine did as a child. She had short hair though, reaching above her neck and dangling in golden straight tresses. It shimmered in the underlying sun and glistened perfectly with her teal eyes that shimmered behind her long cut lashes. Her nose was pointy and buttoned cutely, and her lips were thin but eminent, pink and glossy. Her face was delicate and cute. Soft and big eyed. Her waist was thin and her arms were lithe along with her smooth legs. She was petite and diminutive in every way… well except her chest. Surprisingly, it was rather… mammoth. Larger than Cartman's can ever hope to be. It was… very unexpected from the shy blonde.

Next she took in the look of Tweek. Tweek was jittering and twitching. Her large eyes where more significant and seemed surreal even. Not bulgy, but wide and alert. Her nose was average and sleek. Her hazel tinge was present and her lashes were long yet not as flashy as Cartman's and Butters. Modest yet unique described this newfound blonde. Her lips were average yet chapped. Her jaw line was humble and her appearance was diffident. Her once short chopped hair that stood out randomly and out of place was now a dauntless mane that roared daring boldness. Very much unlike her features physically. Her body was normal, neither definitely thin nor the slight touch of overweight. Just average, as were her breasts and legs and arms. A very stunning yet modest creature she turned out to be, excluding her striking and intrepid mane that curved and twisted in an audacious form, of course.

She then turned to glance a look at the blonde she grew up with regularly. Kenny had her hood on and was covering her golden locks. Despite that, Cartman caught a peek at her sleek silk. It looked unbelievably soft and was lengthening up to just below her shoulders. Neither straight nor curly, it was unruly and un-brushed, yet held a strong charm to it. Her lips were covered by a thick orange, rather dingy, scarf. Yet her nose was average yet curved and elegant. Her deep aqua eyes were lost and unsure, deepened and hidden behind her long lashes that fluttered lightly against her colored, naturally, lids. Her arms and legs were average yet breathtaking. Her waist was sickly thin, and then again lack of nutrition tends to have that effect. Her breasts, well if you were expecting large and massive, they were actually petite and a bit _too_ shy. Despite that, her look was charming, alluring, mysterious, pained, troubled, and vulnerably strong, if that makes any sense.

Then, Cartman saved the best for last. She took in the etched vision of Kyle Broflovski. Her eyes were large, but not too large like Tweek's and Butters. Just large enough to steal a gasp. Her eyes were not green orbs anymore; they were emerald halos that lingered in her window to the dazzling soul. Her lashes long and surreal, angelic and brightened by the shimmering light. Her cheeks were painted subtly yet daintily with elusively deep freckles that traveled to her buttoned and sharp nose and to her tender and pink ears. Her lips were thin and significant at the top, yet luscious at the bottom. Glossy and captivating. Her jaw line elegant and modest. Her neck long and enthralling. Her bright and deep locks of red curls that curved and fell loosely against her lithe shoulders was as contrasting as blood against the snowy laced background. Her pale skin bathed her flesh and simmered her appeal. Her arms were long and eloquent, her legs thin and curved. Her skin scrumptious and enchanting along with her hidden yet significant color bone that barely shown against her thin white T-shirt. Her pleasing waist was of the perfect measure, neither sickly thin, neither overweight, not even average. Almost as if it were professionally engraved. Her hips sleek yet wide enough to tease. Her breasts spur a rapt view to Cartman's auburn eyes. Neither flashy like her own or Butter's nor underlying modest or unnoticeable like Tweek's or Kenny's. Her entire look was a combination of vibrant perfection.

Cartman found herself blushing profoundly and kept her head down to the snow and started to think of duller thoughts.

"(Dude…)" Kenny spoke out first behind her orange parka, breaking the long silence.

Everyone turned to her direction. "(How the fuck did I get these ripe grapes when Butters got state champion melons…?)" She said rather crudely and bluntly.

Butters blushed and covered her massive breasts but failed in attempt. "S-sorry! I didn't want to be this showy ya know!" She whined in a sweetened cute voice.

Kyle rolled her eyes. "Shut up, the situation is bad enough than for you two to be complaining about insignificant issues. Seriously? Who the fuck cares if his breasts are big and yours are small." She spoke up in a strong yet feminine velvet voice.

Cartman was in awe at even her smoothly solid voice.

Kyle took a big sigh. "Stan, Clyde, Craig and the rest are coming any minute now. I just got a text from them." She said holding out her phone in plain sight for the rest of them.

"That doesn't, GAH, matter! What if this won't g-go away anyways! What if we're, URK, stuck like this forever! I don't want to g-go the girl's b-b-bathroom! I don't want to use p-pads or, GAH, tampons every month! I don't want to watch my weight all the, AGH, damn time, did you know girls have more natural fat then, AGH, men! What the fuck! I don't want to have these milk jugs!" Tweek grasped her breasts and shook them in a feared anxiousness.

Cartman burst out laughing and even fell to the floor cackling with uncontrollable, giddy laughter.

"What?" Kyle said rather annoyed.

"HE..." her breath was caught with laughter, "HE SAID… HE SAID MILK JUGS!" She continued to laugh while Kyle rolled her eyes. Tweek blushed severely and buried her head in shame under the palm of her hands.

"What's so funny?" a deep silk voice spoke from behind.

The group turned to see a tall handsome teen boy. His height tall and his form sleek yet tone and muscular. His hair cut short, yet long enough to linger against his lids. His hair was jade black and his eyes were narrow and slender, sharp yet confident and romanticized. His eye color violet and with tinges of deep ocean blue. His jaw line sharp yet refined in prominent. His lips with meat yet not plump enough to impress the idea of feminine. His shoulders broad and muscular, lean and narrow. His arms not skinny nor buff, simply definite, as his legs. His chest covered with a jacket and undershirt, but easily seen of muscular tone and slender appeal. His hands large and his fingers slim and lengthy. The right one was intertwined with a gorgeous woman.

She had long raven hair, straight and sleek riding down to her hips, longer than any of the girls in the area. Her eyes were deep blue and her lashes significant but not exactly long and vibrant. Her nose was buttoned and average, yet her lips were thin and prominent, as if waiting for a taste. Her jaw line soft and hearted, her skin soft and peach. Her neck long yet humble, and her arms and legs slender and slim. Her hips not significant yet noticeable. Her breasts were average, a bit larger than Tweek's. Her overall expression was apathetic and impatient, while her look screamed average refinement yet awe in beauty.

"Stan? Wendy?" Kyle spoke up in shock.

"Oh wow! Kyle, you look so cute as a girl!" Wendy squealed in her deep voice.

"Dude, your voice and your tone is creepy." Kyle noted.

"Oh, sorry. I'm still getting used to it." He said sitting down by Kyle and Stan.

"What was so funny anyways." Wendy asked again.

Cartman chuckled. "Tweek said milk jugs and shook his breasts!"

"I WAS SAYING HOW I DON'T WANT THESE!" Tweek shrieked pointing to her breasts.

"I thought the same, but I never thought I'd miss them so much." Bebe came behind us and sat next to Butters.

He had short, wavy blonde hair, golden and tinged with bronze. His hairs long and to her neck like a surfer. His eyes light blue, and her skin a tanish glow. He had short blonde fuzz under his chin. His body long and sleek and his chest tone and his shoulders broad. Her overall look fun and dashing.

"I actually miss having boobs…" He said pouting.

"You can take mine." Craig came up behind with Clyde, Christophe, Damien, Pip, Kevin, Gregory, Red, Dylan and Henrietta, Token, Heidi, and finally Thomas.

Big group huh.

A short description of the group:

Craig had long, a dull jade, straight hair, length battling with Stan's. Her eyes a soft grayish tint with underlying soft tinges of grayish green. Her body sleek and average, her lashes short yet is appealing. Her lips sleek and a dull shade of pink. Her hips significant, as were her breasts.

Clyde had short, silky brunette hair that reached to his lower neck and her bangs were short but separated to the left side of her forehead. Her body not sleek, yet not overweight, but close to Cartman's weight, a little below it. Her breasts normal and her hips as well. Her feet a bit large and her neck long. Her lashes short, and her lips average. Overall look was average.

Christophe had a pissed expression across her face. The French woman had a cigarette dangling on her full and succulent lips. Her jaw line sharp yet feminine, her eyes harsh and cruel, yet alluring and brash. Her lashes long and glistened along with her unruly hair. Her hair was disobedient and unmanageable, or at least uncared for. It was a bit grimy from the probability of digging holes, yet was curly and wild. Despite that, it wasn't as curly as Kyle's elegant mane. Her body was fit and looked prominent in exercise, yet not buff as a man. Simply toned and sleek in all ways feminine. Her hips were definite but not wide, and her breasts were average, a bit bigger than Tweek's. She wore fingerless, short, leather, brown gloves and a dirty white T-shirt with baggy military pants, not caring for the cold. She carried a shovel.

Damien… she had wavy pitch black, night hair. Her bangs were lost in her one length hair, long and in sharp contrast with the pure white snow. Her eyes narrow, sharp, cruel, brutal, ruthless with crimson red that almost burned your soul to look at. Her lips narrow and callous, her stare icy and malicious. Her hips were slender and meager as were her breasts. Her legs long and slim, she wore a black skirt and a black tank top, embracing the harsh cold.

Pip was entirely opposite. She had long, straight, platinum blonde hair that flowed against the winter wind. Her bangs were straight and short, covering her whole forehead. She wore a white British hat with a tan jacket. Her breasts were large and competed with Cartmans, but nowhere close with Butters. Her hips slender but significant and her body in a frail, sleek shape. Her eyes were ice blue and her lips were pouty and soft, vibrant pink. Her lashes long and light, almost blonde.

Kevin was the most amusing, mostly because of the typical Chinese look. She had the exact haircut as Pip, but with black hair. Her eyes were slightly Asian and brown. Her hips wide and her breasts average. Her height was short and her lips slim. Her feet were also rivaling with Clyde's.

Geregory had short, boy cut, blonde hair. Golden and shimmering. Her smile arrogant and brash, her eyes narrow yet feminine. Her eye color was dark blue. Her lips slim and meager. Her figure slender yet toned. Her breasts quite large, very much mature but not ridiculous like Butter's. Her hips wide and broad.

Red hair dark red hair cut short and boyish. His shoulders ample and his torso toned. His legs long and his neck long. His eyes were brown and pensive, as if digesting this entire situation. His lips are defined yet masculine and his overall look is contemplative.

Dylan and Henrietta were two of the Goth kids at school. Henrietta grew in height, yet over the years of trying to commit suicide and experimenting with drugs and nicotine, she lost weight. So in her… his appearance, were broad shoulders, a lean body type, pale wan complexion, and violet eyes. Dylan had short black hair with red highlights, average breasts and hips, sleek legs, pouty black lips, blue, thick lashed eyes, and a wan, pale complexion.

Token had dark milky skin (obviously), and her hair was in braided locks and tied back to a chic pony tail. She had dark chocolate eyes, plum lips painted in red, and a strong, attractive cheek bone. Her legs were glistened and structured to perfection, her waist was thin and her arms and neck were sleek. Her breasts were average but her bust was… well you can guess the stereotype can't you?

Heidi had dark black hair, short and cut shorter than Wendy's. His shoulders broad and his waist average. His eyes were green and vibrant, and his chest and abs toned. He wore glasses and had thin lips.

Thomas had short hair, cut as a bob. Her dark golden locks curled and fit thinly at her petite face. She had hazel eyes and a sleepless look, much like Tweek's. Her lips were thin and her breasts were a tad above average. Her hips were below average and her legs were sleek and long. Her nose was nipped and she constantly screamed obscenities in a high, shrilled voice.

"Actually, I kind of like being a girl." Token spoke up.

Everyone gaped in amazement. "But you're like, one of the manliness guys I know!" Bebe shouted in disbelief before continuing, "I mean you play football, and you are in woodshop, and you want to be an engineer, and you're the dirt-under-my-fingernails, greasy, I'll-eat-four-fucking-king-size-burgers kind of guy!"

"I know, but… I don't know. I kinda like being like this." She scratched the back of her head in embarrassment. "Who knows, I may want to stay like this from now on. I can always be a lesbian." She joked.

"So you still like girls?" Clyde asked.

"Duh! Just cause I like being one, doesn't mean I'm gay. Fuck you Donovan." Token retorted.

"I know you'd like to, Black. You like a little white chocolate?" Clyde teased while swinging her hips with a herp derp face. 

"Do you want me to beat the shit out of you!" Token screamed while holding her fist up in the air.

"Cat fight!" Cartman screamed.

Kyle smacked Cartman in the back of the head. "Shut up fatass," Then he turned to the Token and Clyde, "And you too! I want to know what the fuck we are going to do about all this!"

"I zay ve keep on goeeng on. I meen vith school of courze. I meen, zis iz Zouth Park vor God'z zake! Zometheeng veird happened, zo ze adventure iz about to begin! I zay ve sit back and vait vor it to come to uz, no?" Christophe spoke out.

"We agree. You Brittany and Justin wannabes attract the weirdest shit. Especially the four of you." Henrietta said, pointing at the infamous four: Kyle, Cartman, Kenny, and Stan.

All four just flipped her… him off.

Afterword, Kyle spoke up, seeming to take the role of the leader between the large and odd group. "Fine, we follow Christophe's idea. We stay like this for a while and wait for something to happen. Though we wait for one month. If nothing happens then we meet December 15 next month, okay? And if the four of us are missing," She pointed at the infamous four, "Then you don't need to worry because you know something is happening. Understood?"

The large group nodded. After a while they disbanded and all that was left was the infamous four.

"So… we're chicks." Cartman spoke up.

"Dude… I have something very disturbing to announce." Stan spoke up.

"(What?)" Kenny asked, ears perked up.

"You guys know that episode where Kenny and Cartman thought they got their periods and Kyle lied about having his because he didn't want to be left out?" Stan reminded them while having his head bowed and blushing furiously while facing the snow.

"Yeah, but what does… no way…" Kyle said.

"I had to ask Wendy for help and borrow her pads. I freaked out so bad I fainted when I saw the toilet water all red." Stan said.

"(How'd it feel? Rather how DOES it feel?)" Kenny asked, curious.

"So fucking weird man!" Stan shrieked, "It feels like I'm peeing, but it flows out randomly and this pad is fucking itchy! I asked Wendy for a tampon, but I didn't know you had to stick it up there, so I stuck with the pads."

"Dude, that's so fucked up…" Kyle spoke.

"That's my line!" Stan yelled.

"HAHAHAHAHAHA!" Cartman couldn't contain her laughter any longer, she burst out in hysterical giggles and fell to the snow back first. "Oh my GOD!"

"Shut up! It'll happen to you too, you know!" Stan screamed. "And I hope it's a heavy flow! I hope it lasts 10 days and for 8 days it's a heavy flow! I hope you get cramps and I hope you get so bloated you look like a whale! And I hope you feel so sick you have to skip school!" Stan said with tears threatening to stream down her ocean blue eyes.

"Calm down, don't let the hormones take over, bitch." Cartman giggled.

"I hope you have such a heavy flow that you get ovarian cancer and they have to take your womanhood and when you turn back into a guy that part of you will still be missing and you'll be so sterile you'll never be a dad!" Stan kept screaming.

"Dude, don't say that!" Kyle spoke out.

Everyone stopped and gaped at her. Was she actually defending Cartman! Cartman was blushing and stopped laughing completely.

"First of all, my grandmother had ovarian cancer asshole. Secondly, do you really want to take a moody, grumpy, hormonal Cartman for ten days?" Kyle rationally spoke.

"Sorry, dude… about your Grandmother I mean…" Stan said.

"It's okay dude." The redhead assured. Then she stood up and sighed, followed by a stretch. "I'm going to go home and finish my homework. Then I'm going to play God of War. If anyone wants to join me, you may, just don't bug me while I'm doing my calculus worksheet."

"God of War! I'm in dude! Which one?" Cartman raised her hand. Everyone knew how much of a video game nerd she turned out to be.

"The third one. I just bought it last week, and since I was so busy, I haven't even beaten Poseidon." Kyle responded while she began to walk to her wagon truck.

"I have to go home soon, or Shelley will tell dad about my… problem to dad, and then I'll never hear the end of it." Stan said as she stood up and sighed deeply as she wiped the tears from her eyes.

"(Well, I don't feel like playing video games, I'm gonna go home and see if I'm still into Playboy.)" Kenny announced.

After Stan and Kenny left, Kyle turned to Cartman who was unlocking her Mercedes.

"So, you going to come to my house and play God of War 3?" Kyle asked.

"Sure, got nothing better to do. My mom is having another… gentleman caller come over, and now that I'm a super hot chick, I don't want to be anywhere near there." Cartman complained dramatically as if her beauty was irresistible.

"Shut up, retard. Though I have to admit, you came out a lot better than I thought you would. I expected a grossly fat girl." Kyle joked opening her car door.

"Same sneaky Jew, I can't tell if you're complimenting me or insulting me."

"Whatever, I'm not in the mood to fight, today. It's been a weird ass day." Kyle said getting in her car and shutting the door. Cartman did the same.

Just then Kyle's window rolled down. Cartman did the same, as soon as she saw Kyle do it first, she was curious to what she had to say.

"It was a compliment, fatass." Kyle said, a bit of blush peeking out her soft, freckled cheeks.

Cartman turned scarlet and at this had nothing to say back as Kyle closed the door and started the ignition. Cartman snapped out of her daze and followed Kyle on the road to the teasing Jew's house.

So… they're girls now, huh?

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**A/N: So I really wanted to do an all Gender Bender! Yay! I love Kyman… super duper couple! Also my favorite gender benders were: Cartman, Kyle, Damien, Christophe, Tweek, Heidi, Dylan, and Token…. Definitely Christophe… so fun to write as a girl. I'm gonna explode her… his… whatever, character more now. Also we can't forget the dip pairing! The way I described Pip and Damien seems like an anime character… both of them. Lol… so tell me how I did? Did I do good? Was Tobi a good boy?**

**Lol, whoever can tell me where that last line came from will get a oneshot of any SP pairing! :DD**


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